Dreaming of A Past Lover

Alright! I got quite a few letters to get this blog going.


I have sifted through all of them. All legit good questions. But I chose this question below as a first to keep it pretty general and light for starters. I encourage you all to share your point of views (as much as you can given the lack of detail).

Writer asks –

Dear Jazzy,

How do I stop having dreams about a past relationship when I have been married for years????”


Since he/she didn’t leave a “name”, we will call him/her “Dreamer”




Dearest "Dreamer"

You stop thinking about them. :)

This is a hard question as you don’t really tell us what kind of dreams they are. Good, bad, warm, cold?

In our hearts we tell ourselves we are over our past relationships, we are no longer thinking about this person but in reality, if you ever really loved someone I’m not sure you ever really get over that love you had.

Do I think you are still in love with your ex? No, not necessarily. But do I think you still harbor some sort of “feelings” for this person? Perhaps you do. Be it, the loss of a friendship with that person, resentment, general concern, confusion as to why it really never worked out, SOMETHING is there. Something is sitting in your heart and the back of your mind.

Maybe you are questioning if your marriage is the right fit for you? What if you married this other person? What really happened in this past relationship? Does this other person think of you ever? Was it all really a waste of time? Maybe you’re finally coming to terms that this old relationship really is over.

It’s hard to give solid answers (although, I’m not sure anyone really could, since we don’t really know how to stop having dreams) since this is pretty vague but perhaps you can connect with this person and find out what it is that is eating you. I’ve noticed once I reconnect with an old flame (be it over the internet, in passing, on the phone, face to face) those answers come to fruition pretty immediate and I can then sleep soundly. Maybe you just need to reconfirm you’ve made the right choice.

Don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s life, it’s real. You are normal.

Friends and readers, what do you think? How can Dreamer stop these sleeping thoughts?

~Jazzy~