So this past weekend, I had a little too much to drink and ended up sleeping with my brother's best friend. Now, I've known him since high school and we've partied many many times in the past with nothing like this happening. So, do I tell my brother about it or not and why? Second, why in the world would I do this? Yeah, that's a rhetorical question but I still had to throw it out there.
- Say It Isn’t So
Dear Say It Isn’t So,
Haha really though, do ;)
- You dirty girl!
- Bad!
- DON’T TELL HIM.
I find most men aren’t cool with their friends courting their sisters, just as much as they hate their friends sleeping with their ex girlfriends. Although I try not to generalize, this seems to be one of those situations in which it’s pretty safe to say, your brother won’t be happy. (Who knows though, maybe he’s more mature than most men I know and have read about, and he’d be willing to accept that you guys were having harmless fun).
I’d talk to his friend and come to a decision of whether to kiss and tell or keep it locked away and make sure you stick the same story. I don’t think you need to tell everyone everything. So if it was just a night of fun and you don’t feel attached to this guy and vice versa, maybe keep it your own dirty secret. Something you can laugh about and leave your brother guessing :)
Friends, What would you all do? Tell or not tell? Maybe there are some guys out here that are brothers and have been in this position (the receiving end) and can offer some advice.
~Jazzy~
Why not say anything? If you've known this person for so long, there may have been latent feelings the booze brought to light. You may have a future with the person.
ReplyDeleteUnless you abhor them sober, then I would feign forgetfulness and amnesia and pretend it never happened.
I would ask the guy if he plans on telling, then go from there. If he thinks he might end up saying something then you might just want to go ahead and tell him first.
ReplyDeleteI know brothers that might FREAK and others that wouldn't mind at all, all depends on how you think yours might react.
Yea, who knows are you sure there is nothing there between you and the friend??
I have NO idea how my brother would react. The whole situation has me a bit freaked out. I've never thought of my brother's friend in that way before EVER. So I'm still thinking in my head, Did that really happen? I don't abhor him sober...it's just it wouldn't work. UGH. I'm hoping that I can ignore it and the next time I'm visiting my brother and we all go out it's not weird (they live together). I don't want to have to tell my brother unless I absolutely have to.
ReplyDeleteDo you think of him in that way now? I think if you make it weird, it will be weird. If you play it cool it'll be cool. Most of the time the emotion of a situation is determined by the way the woman makes it. Women freak out over everything and men just want things to be laid back and cool. So, I think if you let it be something less of dramatic, then it'll probably stay there. :)
ReplyDeleteIdk. I'm drama free (well at least for the most part). I'm not going to make an issue out of it at all. Hopefully it all just blows over
ReplyDeleteAs an older brother, I know it would drive me crazy. Especially since my sister and I don't have the type of relationship where we discuss our sex lives or hook ups at all. On the other hand, as a person, I know its really not that big a deal. For this reason, I think you keep it between you and the friend (just make sure he's on the same page).
ReplyDeleteThe bigger question, is what happens next time? I'm not concerned with whether its going to be weird and awkward or not (it is, just deal). After a few drinks everyone would rather not sleep alone, and with sure thing with a guy you've been with before is sitting right next to you, are you going to hold back? He probably won't.
It's easy to brush aside a one time hookup, and keep it quiet. If its something that starts happening whenever you're around each other, he's eventually going to figure it out, and however he finds out will be worse than hearing it from one of you two...and if you do end up telling him, for whatever reason, he'll probably take it better (better being a very relative term here) from his friend. I really don't want to hear my sister tell me about sleeping with anyone, not even her husband.
Are you sure your brother's friend feels the same way about what happened as you do?
ReplyDeleteThe only way to know is to talk to him first. He might be thinking how much he is interested in you and might be looking for the same thing next time, which in turn could lead to more awkwardness. Maybe he is even interested to the point that he might start asking your brother about you, all depends on what kind of relationship they have and how comfortable they are with each other.
I think your best bet is to try and talk to your brothers friend about it, and if that isn't a reasonable option feel it out the next time you are all hanging out. If it is awkward then you are probably going to have to talk to your brother about it because if you have all been chill for so long ans all of a sudden you aren't he is going to know something is up.
As for why you did it...hey everyone needs some lovin' sometime right?
We behave ourselves next time and keep our hands to ourselves. :) LOL!
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm not sure how he feels about it but I'm pretty sure that it's the same as me. It was fun and yes everyone does need some lovin' sometime...
You guys gave great advice, thanks so much!
The truth will come out sooner or later might as well get it off your chest
ReplyDeleteI did this. I slept my my brothers best friend whom I had a crush on for years. It was one of those situations where I never though there was a chance in hell that we would do that. Sure enough a few years after he hadn't seen me, i grew up. He was impressed and we got drunk and did the bag thang.
ReplyDeleteIt was awesome. But I freaked out because my brother is waaay to protective. It wasn't that big of a deal because the friend went away to school. But I was still worried and felt like I betrayed my brothers trust.
5 or 6 months later, I hadnt seen the friend since the night we hooked up and we just happened to be going to the same place with my brother and my dad. (AWKWARD)..We both drank a bit cause we were at a sporting event, and as the night went on it wasnt awkward anymore. On the train home we sat away from everyone else because they were annoying and we talked about it. It wasn't awkward and we both decided our lives would probably end if we told my brother.
Later that night after everyone had gone to sleep, he came to my house, picked me up and we went back to his place and slept together again.
So you won't learn. And its over with. You might be able to sleep with hima gain, but either way DONT TELL YOUR BROTHER.
the fact that you are even questioning this tells me that you feel deep down he should know. it may not be easy, but believe me when i tell you to TELL HIM NOW. i found myself in a similar situation a few years ago. i didn't tell right away and every time the 3 of us were together i felt like my 'sister' was being mocked by this other girl and i. it took me a month to finally spill the beans, but i felt SO much better like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. my 'sister' although uncomfortable about the situation, thanked me for my honesty and forgave me. there's alot more to the story, but the point is still, tell him asap.
ReplyDeletewhat happens between two consenting adults is their business and their business only. you owe nobody an explanation, especially if you feel it may damage the relationship between you and your brother. most guys are not as understanding as they should/could be in these situations, so to preserve your sanity and your relationships i believe you should just keep it to yourself.
ReplyDeleteDon't tell!
ReplyDeleteOften times people think they should reveal something they did because it's the right thing to do or the respectful thing to do, when it reality, they really just want to get it off their chest to relieve some of their own guilt. If you do feel guilty about it, you need to just carry it around with you and come to terms with it on your own.
I don't think this is the kind of secret that gets worse with age. If he finds out about it three years from now, will he really care? So I don't feel like there's anything to gain by telling him now instead of waiting for him to find out about it. Don't tell him!