So my husband travels A LOT for work. I adore my husband and miss him like crazy when he is gone. I am almost 30 years old and have a 3 year old son that is with me all day (I am a stay at home mom) but when evening comes I just get so lonely.
Does anyone have good words of advice or suggestions on what to do to fill my time while he is away? I try my best to be really supportive of him because he is just working to provide for our family. I am just curious of how others have dealt with husbands/partners that travel?
Lonely Being Alone
Dearest Lonely Being Alone -
First of all, I don’t know how you do it. That’s enough to drive an insane woman to drink :)
But – in all seriousness,
Being a stay at home Mom while your husband travels can be limiting on your social life I’m sure. I don't know if you have the ability/money to find a sitter for one night a week but I would suggest even trying that. One night a week shared with others who hold the same interest as you would make a huge difference in your feelings of lonesome. You have to take time for yourself else resentment could set in and then even your best efforts of support will wean out and everyone will be miserable.
Assuming you can find some time to free yourself from the little one here are a couple of tips :
1. Ask yourself what your interests are. Do they involve others (i.e. playing a competitive sport or board games) or do they further isolate you (gardening, scrapbooking or watching tv)?
a. If the answer involves others, then maybe go to your local gym and try to find people who want to play a game of tennis or ping pong with you, try looking for town sponsored softball games that you can join in on
b. If you enjoy activities that tend to be more solitary maybe you can start a focus group or an interest group on those subjects. Try starting a book club, that way you can do what you enjoy and share your experiences with others. There are plenty of websites you can Google on how to start book clubs in your local area. Try taking some sewing or cooking classes, you may develop some long lasting friendships through this. Leave your house at night and hit the yoga club down the street and after you’ve done your exercise ask a friend to grab a cup of coffee or even a beer!
If you find you can’t get a sitter you can always try to do these things at your own house. Nice days are coming and I’m sure if you did some local searches you might find other stay at home mothers who would love to get together (with or without the kids) and chat about common interests. You could have cookouts and wine tastings all while enjoying the company of others.
Most of all : It’s extremely important to make sure your needs are being met as well as your husband and child’s needs are. You can’t be the rock all the time it’s ok to admit you get lonely and it’s even more ok to do something about it.
What can some of my other friends who live a similar life offer this pseudo single mom during times her husband travels? What about some of you that just have fantastic ideas?